Whilst figuring out a peg for this blog post, I realised that I have been on this platform for 11 years! 11 years of beginnings and endings, ups and downs, laughter and teas (tears too), new loves and heartbreaks – basically life. SO much to celebrate!

Now, some might say that 10 would have been a rounder figure to commemorate, perfect, even. And that is precisely why 11 is ideal, since “perfection” triggers my anxiety. Also, perfect is an illusion, a piece of wisdom I offer you as I reach YET another milestone – my 40th. Which is next year. In March. See how smooth that was.

I had toyed with the idea of launching a new blog to mark the fact that I survived 4 decades, but settled on a hashtag instead, which I will call an ode to the ordinary.

Why ordinary? I am glad you asked.

For as long as I can remember, Ordinary has been my personal nightmare. Living in a world chasing perfection and its cousin, I found that my choices were either to be the best or nothing.  The middle ground was a concept alien to a child finding her place in this word. All or nothing – it was that simple. Every time I stumbled, I took it personally. Unlike fairy tales (or glossed over success stories) I didn’t dust off and carry on. I internalised the shame instead. Irrespective of whether or not I wanted it, a voice in my head kept asking me to be “the best”.

Thankfully, I have more than one voice in my head, and some are even friendly. Lately one of them has been asking, “get better at What? And what is wrong with what we have or what we do? Why do we have to be the BEST when good enough, is well, good enough.”

How about the vast middle of the ordinary that I have lived thus far, and actively tried to outrun. 

I know that there are gaps in this narrative. They are not entirely deliberate because I am still trying to find answers. Moreover, I am not sure if filling these gaps in is necessary for this exploration here, in this space. While rich in their yield they are oftentimes personal and likely boring to anyone but me (and maybe my therapist). 

What I do want to do today is set an intention. An intention to learn to accept things as they are. Not embellish them with deep aesthetics or deeper meaning. Instinctively I know that the practice is more complex than the words on this page. This year, I learn to celebrate the ordinary. The mundane. The dal chawal of life. My way. Unapologetically.